on learning to breath

in the beginning, leaning up against a tree, I said, "you're weird,"
and he looked at me with contemplation.

he asked me how so, and I paused to think.

"because you are different." 

because you are different, and that was odd to me. because many people I know are similar in the emotions they discuss. no one bares their heart so honestly. no one pauses to appreciate so deeply.

but that is not weird. that is something I appreciate.

this year, on the beach and under the trees, I met people who paused.

I hadn't paused for a very long time. 

that essential deep breath. the necessary-laying-on-a-bench-on-your-back-staring-at-the-trees breath. the evergreens are so much taller; their mere capacity makes me catch my breath. and yet, I breathe calmly. I pause.

I stood in the dark, my eyes wanting to close, to fall shut for the night, and yet: "look up."
and I stood up straight, a hand on my back, just breathing. thinking of the happiest moments.

stand up straighter. close your eyes. relax your shoulders. feel fresh air.

learning, I am learning to breath.