"friluftsliv"

I'm not sure how to begin this. I wrote a few sentences, all something along the lines of "a break from my busy life was necessary," but none of them seemed to capture what I'm feeling right now. 

understanding?

this weekend brought understanding. 

a break from the city, from reading articles off of my laptop, from straining my eyes over syllabi and emails. 

there's something about the quiet in the forest. I fell asleep in front of a fireplace, seeing the little light of the flames jump outside my eyelids. and it was silent. I woke slowly, the sound of geese and running water outside the window. natural light flooding the room. 

being outside, I smiled. 

and at first, it was hard - but then, then I felt like olivia again. olivia that turns everything into a song. olivia that meets new people and acts ridiculous but always smiles. that goofy olivia, the original olivia. the one that attempts to match excitement and curiosity with that of the children. the one that starts talking again, speaking when she needs to speak, laughing when she needs to laugh. playing soccer barefoot - dear lord, I hadn't done that in a long time. the sun came out, and I ran barefoot through the forest. through the mud and then the sand and then to the field. and it felt better. 

and so I start this week with a deeper understanding of me. of the open air life I crave so desperately. 

(and here is the song that we played while cleaning at camp, my theme song of the weekend. it will possibly forever remind me of these last two days of self reflection)